The Uncomplicated Truth


Sladana Mitrovic
8 September 2014

No relationship is perfect - ever!
But there are relationships that have the odd emotional scuffle and then there are the ones that are just plain toxic.
Healthy relationships are built on a solid foundation of trust and respect.
Healthy relationships are uncomplicated.
And don't let anyone ever tell you any different. We've all heard the sayings, read all the books, watched all the movies, each of them telling us that love takes "work".
While this is true it's just not as much work when you have the right guy.
Now I'm not here to cast a judgement on anyone's relationships, I am merely offering (for those who'd like to hear it) my opinion and nothing more.
I would never have come to this conclusion myself if it wasn't for the plethora of men I'd dated over the many many single years of my life.
So many single years in fact that even now, married to my wonderful husband, I still identify with the singleness in me.
I've had them too; the relationships where you squabble over meaningless things, times where you fight to be heard and even fall victim to being labelled "bitch" because you stand up for your beliefs, or "too sensitive" because you'd like to be treated with love and respect.
But these labels or judgements as I like to call them are just proof that you may not be in your ideal relationship.
Now don't be confused, even in the best relationship you will always have issues that require handling. You may disagree on how to raise your children, difficulty with in-laws or even where to spend Christmas but there will be minimal to no drama in your relationship with each other.
In fact, when it's right, it's the safest and most loving place to be. It's the place to call home when you've been away. It’s the place to retreat when you're having a fight with your best friend and it’s definitely the place you allow yourself to be most vulnerable. It's where you let it all hang out.
This kind of love is divine, it is unselfish and it is all-encompassing. You don't know where you leave off and where they pick up. It's a deep tantalising connection, so tantalising in fact that you can feel the cells in your body dance under their touch. Chemistry off the charts, not just in the physical sense but the emotional and spiritual kind too.
This love feels as though you've lived within this person all your life. When you hear their childhood stories you could almost swear you were there with them.
The love comes from a deep place within; a place that is eternal and soulful.
I offer my single friends this advice; always search for this love. Use your intuition to tell you when something is right. And that intuition lives in your body. Your mind can analyse and can often lead you astray but your body, your body never will. So next time you find yourself dating someone new let your body do all the talking, let it guide you to this love.
But it must be said, don't be surprised if you find it takes a while; for this type of love is harder to find. Nothing worthwhile ever comes easy.
Shortly after moving in with my husband (then boyfriend) he turned to me in the kitchen one night and said: "thank you for waiting for me". And you know what, even at 35, I would wait another 35 years for him. It was so worth the wait.
Why spend years unsatisfied in the wrong relationship when you can spend this same time working on making yourself the best person you can be.