Those who’ve kept up with this blog series know that my husband and I have moved 1000 kilometres away to another state.
We moved for a fresh start after 7 long years of deaths, drama, manipulation and very toxic people.
It’s been 99 days since we moved away from all of that. I count the days because it’s both a relief to be away from it all and because the healing has been incredibly complex and surprising.
When you survive a horrific set of events you don’t come out the same person.
In my case, I’m softer and eager to make up for lost time.
But here’s something I’ve noticed about coming out the other end of chaos, you have to take some time off for healing.
I’m taking my second significant break to re-group and realign to my new desires for my life.
If you’ve read the about page on this site, then you’ll know that I took my first significant break in 2010 to clear my dating history so I could find the man I would ultimately call my husband.
I’ve come to understand that taking the emotional time to reset has profound effects on your future.
You’re cutting off the past and only taking the lessons with you to begin fresh again.
There’s a sound I hear in my mind of this process and it’s like the sound you hear when you get a strike in bowling.
This sound creates a barrier to the past, it helps remind me of where I’m going. It’s like that feeling you get when you go outside after heavy rain.
These emotional and psychological breaks are integral if you want to heal and come out the other end stronger and more focused on your new path.
We live in a time when we are encouraged not to stop, a visceral feeling of missing something if we ever take some time to regroup.
But you can either take the time to gather yourself when you need it or wait till you burn out and possibly take a longer and more serious break later.
I’ll take the time now, I’ll come out of it faster if I do it now.
So, what does an emotional/psychological break looks like? It starts with an internal personal shift in your priorities.
Healing becomes most important, so you implement radical self-care. It looks different for everyone.
My self-care involves slowing down and sometimes stopping all social obligations. It also includes long private walks in nature, spending quiet time in reflection, disconnecting from media and just let myself do things much slower than I usually do.
I’m still in it and I love it.
Because I’m taking this time to heal, those around me are getting the best version of me.
I’m more patient, empathetic, gentle and loving. I’m in self-care mode so that makes me care and appreciate others more.
Taking a break is making me a better person all-round but it also means that I’m preparing my life for better things to come.
Healing is magical. I highly recommend doing it when you need too.