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Know Why You Do Things
24 March 2019
I had a pretty interesting, albeit intense moment this afternoon as I waited for my pizza to cook.
I was sitting at my dining room table and happened to look to my right to where my 3 gorgeous hurricane candle stands were located.
My first thought was “ugh” and the next was “but they’re so beautiful”.
The next thing I know I’ve got tears streaming down my face. I felt burdened by them, like a heaviness in my heart.
It took me a few minutes of thought to understand why these relatively neutral objects could create such an emotional response.
And that’s when I realised why the tears, I didn’t love these candle holders instead I’d originally bought them to impress people with my taste. Which at the time I thought was refined.
They had never brought me joy and the only time I felt a spark of anything close to joy was when we’d have people over and I’d light them up.
I’ve been decluttering my possessions for over a year now and I don’t know how these candle holder kept making the cut.
The only thing I can actually put it down to is the fact that until now, I hadn’t reached that point in time or that level of self-awareness to fully understand why certain things are in my life.
My desire to be liked had been more important to me than living authentically.
I don’t believe we can get very far in life if we do things to please others and not ourselves.
Take a look around your house, pick one thing that doesn’t bring you joy or light you up.
Why do you have it? Why did you buy it? Why do you hold onto it?
Because I know without a shadow of a doubt
that if something is there for any other reason than to create happiness or for practicality then you’ve got it for the wrong reasons.
I once heard a woman say that decluttering her items that didn’t align with the person she is was like taking off a jumper on a hot day, sheer relief.
Within 30 minutes these candle holders were up Facebook Marketplace to be sold.
And even though they haven't sold yet, I already feel lighter because now I have disconnected from my intention to impress.
Today I’ve done some growing and that always feels great.